El Chauvinisto: Even Monkeys Know a Woman's Place
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Thursday, November 8, 2007

Even Monkeys Know a Woman's Place

Ever go up to a woman and make lewd gestures and maybe even "touch your private parts? We've all done it, or at least wanted to. Picture it, some hot chick with no bra on, wearing a sweat-drenched thin white cotton t-shirt, tending the garden whilst the sun beats down on her showing you every detail of those fine perky breasts. How could you not want to? The bitch is just asking for it right? Just because she's in a whores uniform doesn't mean she's a whore, especially not in this country, or so they say. I guess it works the same in Kenya but the monkeys there don't seem to give a shit. The story, according to the British-based Telegraph, states that, "it was well known that monkeys and baboons have a penchant for harassing women rather than men, and even gesturing at them and touching their own private parts." That's friggin awesome. Even monkeys know that women aren't good for anything but sex. What makes it even better is that the monkeys actually "touch their own private parts." If you've ever had a live-in girlfriend, you know that jacking off in front of them is a big no-no. That's why I love these fucking monkeys.

According to the article, It's gotten so bad that the women have actually had to start dressing like men in order for the monkeys to stop fucking with them. "According to locals, the animals have become so aggressive that women have taken to dressing up like men, wearing trousers and long-sleeve shirts." In other words, taking off their whore uniforms. Those monkeys must be pissed. I would be.

Now this is the shitty part. The women there are so whiny that the wildlife service there is actually considering killing some of the monkeys. "Sometimes if you kill or capture one the rest will disappear into the forest." They claim that the problem is that the monkeys are stealing food, but if women weren't so damn worthless, the food would be safe. The problem here is that the women think they can contribute something more than just sex. Why do you think that the monkeys don't fuck with the men? Because the men will kick the living dog shit out of them. Women will just bitch and moan about the 'sex-crazed monkeys.' It's fucking bullshit if you ask me. If women were capable of doing anything right, those monkeys would know better than to fuck with them. Unfortunately, that's how the world works. Women make a mess then call on the men to clean it up. The monkeys know this, I know this, MenAreBetterThanWomen.com knows this, why don't women?

Perhaps the greatest part of this story is the caption that the Telegraph placed on their website under the photo below. It said, "The creatures apparently have no respect for women." What a fucking gem.

Monkeys are smarter than women because, unlike women, they know a woman's place.


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