A REAL MAN HAS NEVER HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN!

Whenever a women reads my rants, she automaticly assumes I must be gay.

What women don't understand is logic sarcasm that men who know they are better than women are not gay, not in the least.



Women- "so why don't you just become gay so you don't have to deal with women?"

El- You don't think we would if we could?! Being Gay would be AWESOME! Gay guys take care of their appearance, can't get knocked up to trap people in relationship, and best of all can't get married.

However God is a Man, Because Jesus wasn't conceived by imaculate scissoring and Men have compassion for lower level beings (why do you think we pay for a woman's date).
God felt sorry for his 2nd best creation (They're high on the list because women are good for making more of the #1 thing on that list... men) so he made sure that women did not go into extinction by forcing men to be attracted to them.



Woman- "but how can you have sex with women if you hate them so much?"

El- Well let me explain 2 things: FIRST, we don't HATE women. A Chauvinist just makes clear as day observations, then compares it EQUALLY to a man.
The second thing is that a man doesn't have to respect something to have sex with it. If men did respect everything they had sex with Paris Hilton would never get laid, and men would worship their hands since more has been done by a mans hand than by any woman.

But upon second thought I remembered something, REAL MEN don't have sex WITH WOMEN!

"But wait El Pup, I love screwing women! What the fuck!"

Well imaginary man who is interupting me like a woman that I made up for the sake of this article, let me explain.

Real men don't have sex WITH WOMEN, They have sex AT WOMEN!

"But what's the difference El Pup?"

Well obviously fake man who is not figuring out things like a woman that I made up for the sake of this article, let me explain some more.

Women make up over 51% of the worlds population despite being an "oppressed minority", so whenever you go somewhere, half of the people you interact with will be women.

Now as a Man, I'm amazing at sex. In fact I'm so good at sex I don't need anyone to help me. Women are not near as good at sex. They constantly have to ask Men what they like, They cant have orgasms, But worse of all they keep buying up vibrators with the mindset of a Poor person buying a lotto ticket... Sure, it feels good and you might even get some small wins, but your never gonna hit the jackpot and it's just a distraction from not being able to get what you want.



As a man, I feel sorry for women. So if I have nothing better to do, I'll ocassionally have sex at a woman. Do I care enough to care about them during the act? God No! I'm already delaying the result that could be happening in 5 minutes out of pitty for you, as far as I'm concerned you're either cummin with me or you ain't cummin at all.

Having sex with women is a loss of man points EVERYTIME!
-Making a girl orgasm intentionally without bragging about it to her afterward: Minus 10 manpoints
-Trying to make your penis bigger for the ladies: Minus 50 manpoints
-Saying I love you after sex: Minus 25 manpoints (during or before sex doesn't matter, we all say shit we don't mean for a good laugh to tell our buddies)
-giving her head: Minus 100 Manpoints (are you getting any enjoyment out of it? if not whats the point?)
-letting her "guide" you: lose every manpoint! (women can't give dirrections for shit, women can't give themselves orgasms, and women can't be leaders... So please tell me what part of a woman telling a man what to do by giving them directions on how to give them something they can't give themselves sounds like a good idea?).