Men know how to celebrate shit, It's a fact! Don't believe me go to bourbon street on Mardi Gras. You think bitches getting their tits out was a woman’s Idea??? FUCK NO! WOMEN DON'T HAVE IDEAS.... PERIOD!
Seeing as new years eve I was sick I couldn't REALLY CELEBRATE, I decided to make up for my half-assed getting drunk that night by celebrating the start of 2010 in NEW ORLEANS with my buddy MR. BASTeRD (I spelled it incorrectly because there are no tards when it comes to REAL men)!
We got fucked up on bourbon st and decided the only way to celebrate this shit was to post the manliest conversation of ALL TIME!! We decided also that being drunk while having the manliest conversation of all time was the manliest way to do it! Sure, drinking may impair our judgment as well as my writing abilities... but GOD DAMN IT, IF IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ERNEST HEMINGWAY IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME!
What makes this the manliest conversation ever? Well you can bitch about how “we ain’t real men” like some retarded single mother trying to insult the father of her kid that was smart enough to leave the dumb bitch the moment she turned raising a child into her way of saying “we should get married”, or you could listen… like a MAN! 
Men are the only ones who can decide what’s manly, and seeing as we’re the only two men speaking right now, I’d say we’re the only one RIGHT now who CAN decide whats manly.
THE MANLIEST CONVERSATION OF 2010 EVER
El pup- so what are the manliest things we can talk about
Mr. Basterd- Hot bitches, violence, and money. Speaking of violence, hunting is manly as fuck!
El pup- I concur, hunting is fucking manly! You know, men are so god damn fucking awesome at hunting they need to put “seasons” and “tag limits” on killing shit.
Mr. Basterd- it’s because men like chalange. If we didn’t put restrictions on the shit MEN could kill, we would kill and eat the fuck out of EVERYTHING that moves. I mean SERIOUSLY!
El Pup- I didn’t work my way to the top of the food chain to eat fucking salad. 
Mr. Basterd- Notice how a steak house will serve you a salad before your steak… it’s to remind you how great that steak is once it comes to the table.
El pup- Speaking of pieces of meat, lets talk about hot bitches.
Mr. Basterd- you know how 9/10 guys will say Megan Fox is hot, but only 1/10 women will admit it?
El pup- that’s because women think traits they think they possess but really don’t like “personality” and “talent” some how fall in to the category of attractiveness…. As if women have either.
Mr. Basterd- well what are they gonna do, rub their double D “personalities” in my face while their “talent” jacks me off? I don’t think so.
El pup- Maybe in the future we can rename breasts to “personalities” so finally girls can be loved for that… but I have a feeling even THAT won’t shut bitches up.
Mr. Basterd- ain’t it funny that a woman with a nice rack and zero talent will bring in more money than any cunt who thinks her “over achieving drama club” status makes up for her disgusting waist line?
El pup- define “over achieving”. Over achieving to a woman is like running a marathon for a person in a wheel chair… you can “try" all you want, but at the end of the day you ain’t gonna be running because you physically are just incapable of doing it. Actually that’s a horrible analogy, people in wheel chairs over come adversity. Women just make blame men for all of their problems.
Mr. Basterd- It ain’t our fault we EARN 25 cents more an hour. Maybe if you weren’t busy updating your facebook instead of getting the shit you are getting paid to do done, affirmative action wouldn’t be the only reason you have a job.
Well, that was the manliest conversation ever. Shorter than you thought it would be? That’s just cause REAL MEN get straight to the point instead of going on about useless descriptions about feelings that serve NO FUCKING PURPOSE TO THE STORY!
During this conversation we drank 7 alcoholic drinks (each), farted 8 times (in total), and told 1 hot bitch to fuck off till tomarrow.
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... but megan fox IS hot. she's fucking gorgeous. <3
ReplyDeleteCongratulations, you are one in ten women who does not try to convince men that their opinion on Megan Fox is wrong... or you're Megan Fox.
ReplyDeleteEither way I would just like to commend you for NOT being an annoying twat... Unless you ARE Megan Fox, than I would like to commend your parents for doing it and like to ask you to take more movie roles where you talk less.
thanks lol
ReplyDeletei'm not megan fox, sadly, but that would be fucking sweet.
Foxy, tits/gtfo
ReplyDelete