El Chauvinisto: Fourth of July Bullshit
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Thursday, July 5, 2007

Fourth of July Bullshit

My family celebrates the 4th every year. Typically the only things we do are drink and blow stuff up. This year was different. This year we left the planning of the festivities up to the women. They decided that it would be a good idea to play games for prizes and to promote "participation" throughout the family. Everyone thought it was a good idea...except me. I knew it was bullshit from the beginning. They had six games; horseshoes, fishing lure cast accuracy, shooting free throws, Frisbee through a hoop, darts, and a shooting gallery. Every game had to do with some kind of distance and accuracy. For example, in the best of ten free throw shooting game, the men had to shoot ten free throws from the line while the cunts shot from half that distance. This was true of every game. My father was an Izaak Walton League skeet shoot camp in the 70's, my cousin was an all-state basketball player in the late 80's and my uncle, after making his money, moved to Canada to fish...FULL TIME. Only one of these men won the game to which they were specialized, my dad. The scores were as follows: 9/10 (bball), 7/10 (fishing), and 10/10 (guns). The scores for the women in these events were, 7/10 (bball), 5/10 (fishing), and 3/10 (guns). To me and you if someone has a better ratio that would make them the winner, correct? Not to a woman.

The point scale. Every successful attempt by a man scored 2 points. Every successful attempt by a cunt scored 3 points. This is how my 400lb. cousin was able to win the competition...lowering the standards. Female affirmative action at its finest.

The moral of this story is that women will only consider something fair if there is a unfair advantage in their favor. And they wonder why they don't get paid as much.

Cross posted here and here.

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14 comments:

  1. Aw. Looks like someone is pouting because they didn't win the prize. Was there a spelling contest? It's "fourth" of July, not "forth"

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  2. Thanks for pointing out the spelling mistake...fatty.

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  3. hahahahaha. That the best you got?

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  4. Looks like you get the same insignificant bitches as I do.

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  5. Insignificant, yet correct. And you're welcome. Perhaps if you'd had a sense of humor about my original comment, and not resorted to a 9-year-old (girl's) taunt, I'd actually read what you have to say.

    Whenever I suggest civility to MABTW posters, they evaporate.

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  6. I said thanks you filthy whore. Perhaps if you had a sense of humor about my original response, and not resorted to weight sensitivity issues, I'd actually care about what you had to say.

    Whenever I call out a woman for being a fatty they all resort to penis envy.

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  7. Penis envy? You're either grasping or projecting. Elementary school girls call each other 'fatty' in the school yard.

    Dr Freud? Paging Dr Freud....

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  8. "Elementary school girls call each other 'fatty' in the school yard."

    That's probably why you're so upset...I hit a nerve, didn't I?

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  9. If you could hit a nerve with a woman in the first place, perhaps you wouldn't be so bitter.

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  10. You wouldn't be here if I hadn't hit a nerve. Nice try though.

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  11. The nerve was poor spelling. You'd never get close enough to find any others.

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  12. It is penis envy isn't it? Are you ashamed of your floppy vagina? Long Dong Silver couldn't hit your spots...floppy.

    It's truly sad, and somewhat funny how women can only come up with three types of attacks.
    1.Penis/sexual inferiority
    2.Accusations of being a homo
    3.See "Women Are Like Dirt"

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  13. I'm trying to determine if you've any potential in debating on a level playing field. If you're going to publish written work, you should make certain it's as correct as possible before posting. I pointed out a spelling error, and you were 'off to the races' by calling me fat. Huh?

    What has that to do with anything? It's completely unrelated to the topic at hand. Then when I called a spade a spade (pointed out that using 'fatty' was immature), you accuse me of penis envy. Ad hominem, thy name is el Chauvinsto. Look, if you're going to post inflammatory opinions about women a la MABTW, then don't act like (your interpretation of) a woman.

    It appears that you're incapable of participating in a conversation without falling back on name-calling. Why lower yourself?

    I'd like to think I'm wrong (and I'm sure you would, too) so let's see a response without name-calling or an ad hominem attack on someone about whom you know nothing.

    Respectfully submitted.

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  14. You are fucking hilarious.

    I said thank you. The fact that you can't take a joke isn't my problem.

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