El Chauvinisto: Universal Glory Hole
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Saturday, March 29, 2008

Universal Glory Hole

Ever wonder why there's a multi-billion dollar diet industry? Me neither. Why haven't I? Because I'm not a fat bitch.

Cunts can't keep their mouths shut for shit, so when they're not talking, they stuff it with food. If you don't believe me, here's the proof.

Cunts think that their fucking mouths are, in some way, more important than their vagina's. You can observe this by simply going to the mall at any time when most men are earning back what their wives have been spending for the better part of 4 years. You'll see dozens of them. Know what else you'll see? None of them using their mouths for what God (a man) intended. And by intended I mean sucking cock, not eating and not talking. Their vagina's do it, why can't their mouths follow suit? Is it that difficult to not annoy every MOTHERFUCKER on the planet?

This is why I propose the Universal Glory Hole.

The Universal Glory Hole is exactly as every man who just read this, sees it. A Glory Hole for every man at every stage of his life. Anonymous, disease free, and part of your company's standard 401(k) package. It's universal because every man sees the need for such a "put 'em in their place" proposal.

Eliminate female fatness and all noise pollution around the world.

The constant squatting and bobbing motion required to be a glory hole girl is all it would take to end the obesity epidemic. It would essentially kill 3 cows with one cock.

1. Provides employment for ex-Hooters girls and all other "qualified" women.
2. Enables a massive food surplus that can then be used to feed starving children in Africa.
3. Promotes the intended use of a woman's mouth.

Yep, I'm a humanitarian.

Long story short, put the fork down and shut the fuck up, cunt.

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  1. I fully support and endorse this idea.

  2. Yeah, I agree.

    They don't like themselves, and they blame every other thing around them - they think by buying more shit, or eating some shit drizzled with 'jus', or sipping some fucking "Gloria Jeans" that they'll find fulfilment, and then, when they don't they try eating.

    Then it's "oh, it's glandular you know, it's not caused by how much I eat".

    Then they blame poor old hubby for not making them happy.

    Fuck - they need to find a purpose in life and do it instead of expecting happiness to suddenly hit them out of the blue.